Trigger warning. This is a controversial post. I know for a damn fact this is going to ruffle some feathers. I may come off as ignorant, but this is my impression of the whole gender identity situation.
So what made me write this post? My cousin showed me a video of a woman who said that there are two biological genders and then an argument broke out between her and some social justice warriors (https://www.youtube.com/shared?ci=0Ni_VU467ls). And then my friend showed me a post on Facebook about how this person identified as 8 different genders, along with some custom pronouns “ze/zir.” And then I was just like, no, this is fucking ridiculous. I’ll get to that later in the post.
Okay, so we all know that there are two biological genders – male and female. That is a damn fact. There’s no denying that. Then you have cases of hermaphrodites or intersexes, people who have both male and female reproductive organs. I personally don’t consider that as a “third gender”. Now, that’s opinion. Opinions are up for debate. Then there’s gender neutrality, people who don’t identify with either male or female, and transgendered people, who feel they’re born into the wrong gender.
In my opinion, no matter how you look at it, it comes down to two genders, male and female. You could be demiguy (guy – male) or demigirl (girl – female). You could be transgender (male to female, or female to male). But it’s a simple breakdown of one or the other. No need to complicate things. From my understanding, demigender is when a person doesn’t fully identify with their gender. I personally don’t understand how…but let me try and explain this in an analogy.
Since we’re talking genders here, I’m going to use the colours pink and blue, obviously for female and male. So we have deep full shades of pink and blue for those who identify fully with either female or male. Then you have demigenders who partially identify with their gender. Demi will be white. So for example, someone who’s demigirl will now add white to the deep shade of pink, making it a lighter pink…but it’s still pink. So, if someone identifies as demigirl, you’re still identifying as female, regardless of whether it’s “partial” or “fully.” I still can’t grasp the concept of how you can partially identify as a gender, but whatever.
Gender neutrality doesn’t identify with either male or female. They identify more as a person than any gender and don’t necessarily define their gender by gender roles, or what’s considered masculine or feminine. That’s something I can understand. People who are transgender, that’s something I can also understand. But what I don’t understand is how we ended up with apparently 52 (I think, from when I checked Google) different “genders.” Like…what? Where the fuck did all that come from? How the hell did you even manage to get to 10 genders, born out of male and female?
And gender fluidity, when someone’s gender changes depending on the situation and who they’re around, ranging from agender, to demi, to fully, between male and female? I can’t wrap my head around that either. Going back to the Facebook post, someone identified as “polygenderflux” – Offboy, Bxy, male, agender, agender masculine, agender feminine, demiboy, and “a few others I may not be able to pinpoint.” Non-binary (doesn’t fit male or female binary), FTM. I don’t know what Bxy or FTM mean, but from what I read, I saw 4 male genders, 1 female gender, and 1 neutral gender, because agender masculine and agender feminine don’t make sense if you’re fucking agender. Back to the colour analogy, with white as agender this time. You add a little blue or pink to the white, it ain’t fucking white anymore. Oh, and pronouns are “ze/zir.” What the fuck is ze or zir? This is an eyesore and an eyeroll. This is why you get ridiculed. This is why you get laughed at. This is why you don’t get taken seriously. Because that just reads as fucking idiocy.
Then there’s the term “cisgender” which is basically being comfortable with the gender you were born with. I personally don’t think the cisgender label is necessary. Someone can point out to me “Oh, you’re cisgender female” …okay, thank you? Coulda just said I’m female, fam. It’s not necessary to say cisgender female, cisgender male, cisgender woman, or cisgender man, which is fucking redundant because if you’re a woman, you’re female, and if you’re a man, you’re male. That’s already an additional 4 “genders” from just the basic male and female, and they all say the same thing anyways. So my impression of these 52 “genders” is that they’re just basically redundancies of male and female. Point blank.
Like…I’m female. Just female. Simple as that. What do you think of when you hear the word female? No need to complicate things with “cis” or “demi” or what have you. I’m also a tomboy. What that basically means to me is that I’m a female who likes to indulge in things that are more geared to male audiences, but that doesn’t make me “male” too. For example, growing up, I preferred Transformers over Polly Pockets (still had both tho, not gon lie 👀). I preferred wearing pants over dresses. You want to play doll house? Go right ahead. I’m gonna build a Lego fort and smash it with Megatron. But I’m still female. Ya digg? I’m not going to say something like I’m 90% female and 10% male.
And don’t even get me started with pronouns. That’s the biggest issue I have with this. The fucking pronouns. What is the big fucking deal? There are more important things to worry about than the pronouns people are going to refer to you as.
I have a cousin who identifies as gender neutral, and I can respect that because of the way she explained it to me. We had a discussion about this one time when we were at Anime North and it went along the lines of “I don’t base my personal preferences on something because I’m female. I don’t like it because I’m female, I like it because *I* like it.” Which goes back to identifying more as a person than a gender. She doesn’t let the female label define who she is. But she also understands that because of her androgynous appearance, people may refer to her as she/her or he/him, and she’s cool with that. She doesn’t identify as either female or male, but has no problem with whatever pronouns people use. That’s the kind of attitude and approach that I can respect, and DO respect. What I don’t respect, however, is when people get upset and throw tantrums about using the wrong pronouns like we’re automatically supposed to know. Like people on Tumblr. That’s just obnoxious and asinine.
I definitely see this as a First World Problem (I fucking hate saying that, but it really is though). Where people can afford to whine about pronouns. I highly doubt people in developing countries take the time to ponder about this shit when they have things like poverty and war to deal with. And we already have gender inequality to deal with. That’s a World Problem. And now you wanna add your gender identity crisis into the mix? Like, damn man 😒
Since we’re talking about an aspect of identity, I’m going to make a comparison and use ethnicity as an example. It’s part of identity, just as much as gender is, so why not. Most of the time, people can’t guess what my ethnicity is. Which is fine. I’m not going to bite their heads off for not knowing what it is. And I’m not going to lecture them and correct them about how I’m actually Filipino and Jamaican, because it’s really not that deep. They can call me Hispanic, or Guyanese, or Indian, whatever ethnicity they think I am, because *I* know what ethnicity I am. Ain’t nothing to yell or protest about. So I don’t see why people feel the need to throw tantrums about pronouns. Someone calls you by the wrong pronoun, so what? Nothing to get your panties in a bunch over.
Anyways, that’s my take on it. ☕
(I’m really starting to hate the word “gender” now because of this bullshit.)